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The Journey of
Healing and Recovery
Why I Chose to Walk
Victoria Portanier
Memories, sweet memories of my brother and me, watching him play baseball on the team called “Twins”. Long, hot days swimming at “the city pool” in Red Bluff, California, staying cool, Colored popsicles made in Tupperware, Are they ready yet? Monopoly, Scrabble, Battleship! Vince is always then and now up for any board game!
These are some memories of my twin that I hold in my heart as fun and comforting. Today Vince remains the same sensitive, athletic, comforting soul and has really accepted his life with his illness. I am blessed to create with my brother new memories along with our fond childhood memories, as you all know; he is my pride and joy!
What an extraordinary lesson it is to learn to accept now for where it is, what it is, and experience the joy and pleasure in the present without reservation, fear or sadness. I think that is called accepting God’s plan for our lives with each and every challenge, struggle and obstacle that come out way. I may not have dreamed or predicted my brother as someone struggling with a mental illness. Ahhhh, the comfort in knowing, I am not walking alone.
Vince is on a journey of healing and recovery from schizophrenia. I sometimes ask why him and not me? I hope daily that he is taking his medications, attending his appointments, monitoring his weight and diabetes very closely. If not, will the voices come back? I hope he isn’t scared or lonely today.
My twin brother lives with this mental health disorder every day, which is confusing, not fair, debilitating, mysterious, and we are in the early stages in medicine to learn more about the causes of mental illness. I wait for the day that medical research finds clear cut answers in order to detect mental health disorders and that the disease process can and will be redirected.
Each and every one of your dollars is for this purpose and I so much, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for walking with me in spirit, prayer, faith and strength as I am now more encouraged as a result of my participation in this walk. Taking that step and asking for a donation and sharing about my brother was a huge step for me, and I am a mental health professional!!!
As we all know, there is strength in numbers and together, in all of our daily struggles, pain, grief and challenges, none of us walk alone and this walk with more than a thousand of others confirmed that reality for me. May each of you experience God’s love and grace in your lives and the comfort, support and love that walking with Him provides be so amazingly obvious to you today!
